Monday, December 31, 2012

My 2012 Story II

So I left to Albania. A new, difficult journey was lying in front of me. I was not afraid at all, because I knew I will not be alone. And I knew that no matter what, I will be ok, because I was doing something worth living for. I got in Albania after ~40 hours of travelling. I wanted for a long time to be part of a National Committee in AIESEC, so I wanted to take advantage of every single thing it came with it. Being faci in the National and International Conferences, being part of the Global Support Team, while building something that lasts in Albania.

I took AIESEC Albania very seriously and I put a lot of heart and soul for it. I worked as never before for something I truly believed in. I felt I was doing the right things, in the way I thought it was best. Unfortunately my way of doing the right things was not appreciated. Or it was appreciated, but too late. It's very hard to start something having no infrastructure, no human resource, the most important for AIESEC. Since I was in charge of the Talent Management area, I managed to attract some cool people that believed in AIESEC Albania.

At the same time I was selected to be faci at the National Conference of AIESEC Switzerland, which is known to be one of the best conferences in the network, because the unique experiences it provides for facis and for the delegates. It was one of the coolest experiences for me. I felt there at the right place, in the right environment where I've learned so many, thing I haven't felt for some time. I was looking for such an experience, where I can develop and learn. I am grateful to have been part of such an amazing conference team.

I was also selected to be part of the Global Support Team of Integrated Experiences (team experiences & exchange experiences). Another one I truly believed in, as I was raised in a culture that was fighting for this one. Being part of a global, virtual team was cool and challenging at the same time.

Being back from Switzerland, in Albania I realized how important is the MC role to organize the national conference, so I decided I will give everything to make a memorable conference for the Albanian AIESECers. Unfortunately I didn't get this chance.

Since I was accused that I am too aggressive, too strict, etc. the team turned against me and I was forced to leave the team and Albania. The moment I said good-bye to Ergita, was one of the most emotional feeling I felt in years. I never thought I would cry so much. But at the same time, I knew I will be ok. Whenever I think about it I have tears in my eyes. I wish the good intentions I had were seen, I wish the team trusted me more, I wish I would have expressed better my good intentions, I wish all of them took it seriously the way I took it. I spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking about this. It affected me a lot. There were so many things that weren't ok, but I realized how important are personal relationships, when it comes to professional work. The thing I regret the most is the fact that I wasn't let to finish what I started. And now it's frustrating when some members are writing to me when they need help or when some things that I had to fight for and weren't accepted were implemented afterwards. I wish the team would have been more wise and see the bigger picture and focus more on long-term things, than short-term ones.

This is already in the past and once with the end of 2012 it will not matter anymore. And I appreciate that 2012 did not let me down and showed me that after every storm comes the rainbow. A Parisian rainbow. So 2013 will begin with a HR internship at GE. It's 2012's way of showing to me that no matter what, things will turn out the best way for me.

Thank you 2012 for teaching me the following:
  • If you will not ask, you will not be given
  • It's not enough to have good intentions, you have to prove so that every single moment
  • People are jealous and incompetent and will not lose an opportunity to bring the competent ones down
  • Managing those people is something good intended people are learning every day
  • Responsibility
  • What doesn't kill you, indeed makes you stronger
  • The "how things are done" is sometimes more appreciated than the result itself
  • That last-minute miracle is something as real as a Christmas tree
  • Good things happen to good people, no matter what crazy things they will be dragged into

2012 you have been crazy, intense, reckless, you punched me in the stomach and when I got up you punched me in the face and then you rewarded me for no reason. All in all, if I draw the line, I acheived most of my goals for 2012. I was expecting you to be more smooth, especially after 2011, but I guess you just wanted to teach me all those things above. And I thank you for that! :)

2013, I have great expectations from you and I know you have from me, too. I want to become a better person and realize some of my dreams. And this time, I will pay more attention at the "how", but the results at the same time. This is my promise for you. And I will make them happen. Cuz, I'm committed like that.

For a positively memorable 2013 a mash-up of all 2012 songs, since I couldn't pick just one.

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