Sunday, February 17, 2013

What about her?

There was this episode in one of the early seasons of Grey's Anatomy where there was a train crash and one woman and one man had a pole that struck through their bodies and they were "trapped" by the pole. In order to save one of them they had to sacrifice the other, so they chose the one that has less internal damages. So they chose to save the man. When they separated them the doctors started to operate on the man and they didn't even try to do anything for the woman, since they knew she will die. Meredith started to scream then.. "What about her?", "What about her?".

I feel like that poor woman at the moment, especially this time of the year. Moving to have an internship in Paris, wasn't my dream. At least for the moment. My dream had a different path. A beautiful one. And I put all my energy into achieving it. And I was stopped on the way. Not only stopped, but dragged into the mud and was hit so hard, so I would never have the chance to ever walk on that path. Why? Because of such a huge ego that could not take others' opinion & perspective and needed to show that the ego is the one with the last word. I was unfortunate enough to align myself with this kind of people. Or I wasn't smart enough in the first place to when making the choice.

Anyways, all in all, I was not the only one that was treated unfairly. But today, justice was done for the other person. But still... for me, it will never be done. At the same time I appreciate the fact that I'm in Paris, having an internship and a life here. I think I would have gone mad without this. But still this affects me. A lot. Because taking and ripping a dream from someone is the worst one can do. And I could have never imagined that there are people or leaders in AIESEC that would do anything to take your dream away, just because of a stupid ego. Actually those cannot be named leaders. Leaders encourage, develop and enable their teams and members to go as far as never seen before. It's devastating and depressing to see that nothing can be done and your biggest and strongest dream was teared apart. It destroyed every piece of me.  And I will never forgive the one that took away AIESEC from me in the most ugly way possible. Because AIESEC meant a lot for me. And this kind of people with stupid ego affected my experience, my life. And what's even worse is that, that "stupid ego" has the power to affect other experiences and destroy the AIESEC brand, without even knowing the power of its decisions. And when I tried to make justice for myself no one has paid attention. Nobody cared. So, what about me? What about me?

But life goes on, no matter what. Yes, I am aware of that.

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